Toddler Christmas Pageants

Dear Amanda,

Ahhhh, this surreal suburban life. Tonight my 4 year old had her preschool Christmas pageant. The small church was overrun with not just parents, but also their friends and grandparents. It’s like each family showed up with its own cheering section to encourage the little performers.

Overall, it’s super sweet and worth fighting a little traffic and parking to see the kiddos up on the dais, excitedly flubbing up every single lyric. It’s adorable. The kids are stoked. The families all have those silly grins on their faces.

But I cannot lie, I was even more amused by this one set of parents. You see, the babies in the infant room were first on stage, with a teacher or aide holding them as they rattled bells to the sound of Jingle Bells playing over the speakers. I just couldn’t help but chuckle as BOTH parents stood up in unison (and she’s also quite obviously expecting the next baby), excitedly filming their wee precious babe wave around what amounts to nothing more than a rattle.

I do remember those days, when every little smile, wave and even farts filled my days with wonder. That’s all palled in my days now where my youngest yells from the bathroom: “I POOPED!!!! COME WIPE MY BUUU-UUUTTTT!” Yes, butt becomes a two syllable word in this instance. Now when she waves around any sort of noise making toy I want to lock myself in the closet and slurp wine out of CamelBak.

But I digress.

I was then immediately appalled as families from the first 3 groups of kids started leaving as their children completed their performances. In my opinion, it’s pretty disrespectful of the other performers not to stick around for the rest of the show. I sat and watched your kid, not it’s your turn to sit and watch mine.

Finally, it was our turn! Earlier that day, my daughter had told me that she was doing the “sledding song” and we’d spent far too much time singing Jingle Bells over and over again. But no, it turns out they were doing a variation of 5 Little Monkeys that included snowmen jumping on the bed, with Santa calling the doctor. It was pretty hilarious watching this group of 3 and 4 year old kids trying to count down from 5, while also keeping track of the next line of lyrics. I have to give huge kudos to their teacher, because it was absolutely delightful.

Is there a piece of me that wishes I was jet-setting off to some foreign location, attending a glittering party with fancy hors d’oeuvres and expensive wine? Absolutely. But my heart is also pretty full watching these tiny bodies and their barely contained excitement for the looming Santa Claus visit.